Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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