found the other keg... it's in the tree
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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