At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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