when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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