Dude my mom stole all your condoms
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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