Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize