i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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