I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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