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he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
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