I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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