First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize