Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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