i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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