Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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