I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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