I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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