The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize