Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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