so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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