Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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