so explain again why im purple
no
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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