I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize