My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
no you cant smoke seaweed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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