I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
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take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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