so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
as a side note pls kill me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize