It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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