remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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