the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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