get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
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You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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