I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
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