well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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