Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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