I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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