would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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