As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize