It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize