some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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