I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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