Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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