dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize