This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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