did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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