It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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