god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
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he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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