Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize