Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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