We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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