clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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