Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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