im about as happy as oj after his trial
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize